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holy crap. i just realized that i've had this thing for almost a year and havne't ever written anything. i just got it to read other people's...i already have two other online diaries, considering a third, since the second isn't serving it's purpose so well anymore...
but anyway. i figured i'd better post something, play around with settings (ps: that picture is of a bunch of my friends on the hall at our formal: rachel (roomie!), brooke, me, sarah, parke. awesome possum!) to make people like MLE happy; so here ya go. it's the latest from the others:
| hearts in tinfoil
sometimes, everything is so beautiful it hurts. everything.
but there's a difference between it hurting sometimes and hurting all the time, and there's a pain in knowing that you'll never live up to that beautiful standard that is all around you, that you are less than what is there. that you are below everything simply because everything is so beautiful. it's a beautiful hopelessness.
and you want to take it in, and take it all in, so not a drop escapes. but your body isn't large enough, could never contain that much beauty without explosion. and that's exactly what it is: it's like a beautiful explosion, erupting pretty and good and love. above all, love. all over the world. it's like watching that explosion, waiting for the heat of it all to inevitably consume me. and i fear that when the heat reaches me, this is the end. i'll always have appreciated the beauty from the outside, never in.
it's a sad and beautiful appreciation of hopelessness.
everything is so beautiful, so beautiful it hurts. and i must keep telling myself this, reminding myself.
don't forget, don't forget
one mustn't forget
it's beautiful it's beautiful it's beautiful it's beautiful it's beautiful it's beautiful... |
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